Wednesday, March 11, 2015

I'm back!!

Well I think it's about time that I update this thing! First and foremost I should start out by saying I am still cancer free! Secondly, in case you haven't heard, I have up and moved to Los Angeles! Pretty crazy huh? I found a little studio apartment in West LA and am loving every second of it so far. I plan on going back to school in the next semester or so, but for right now I am just focusing on getting settled in and exploring the new city.

Obviously one of the first things that I did once I moved out here was find a new oncologist so I wouldn't have to hop on a plane and fly home every three months just to get poked with needles. SO my new oncologist is at City of Hope, which is about 45 minutes away from my apartment but the drive is definitely worth it. My new doctor is AMAZING, and so thorough. I love her.

As far as my symptoms go, there's nothing new there. My chemo brain is still very much a thing, a very annoying thing, but I'm getting better at dealing with it. I normally just start out greeting people with that.. Hi I'm lexi and I have chemo brain so if i just stare at you blankly in mid conversation don't be alarmed it's just my brain not working! Sounds silly huh, but that's the truth. Fatigue is another biggie that I'm still dealing with but  thats getting easier to deal with as well. At first I think I was just so eager to get back to my normal life that all these little changes were so frustrating to me, but what I was so afraid to admit to myself was that I had just beaten CANCER! When I was tired I would feel lazy for not being active all day, or when I couldn't think of the words I was trying to say I would feel stupid, but the fact is I just beat freaking cancer. So I'm learning that it is okay to heal. I'm not going to be back to normal overnight. In face, I don't think there's such thing as back to normal. I will never be the person I was before I got cancer, and I will have lingering side effects for the rest of my life. Which is not ideal obviously, but neither is getting cancer at 20 years old. You just have to roll with what life throws at you. And honestly if it weren't through all of the pain and crap that I went through last year, I don't think that I would be here in LA right now. It's always been a dream of mine to live here but I've never had the courage to, but having a life threatening experience really changes your whole perspective of life. And it's that LIFE IS SHORT! I can't stress that enough. You never know whats going to happen tomorrow, or on your way home from work tonight. Life is so short and in one instant everything can change, so don't take it for granted. Follow your heart, chase your dreams, life to your fullest potential. You only get one shot on this earth, so give it everything you've got.


I read this article last night and it's perfect. Check it out!

Thats all for now!!! Xoxox

PS. A huge congrats to my friend Ryan who had his LAST chemo treatment this week! Only a few surgeries left and that kid gets to join the Cancer Survivor's Club too!!!! AMAZING!

PPS. Remember that one time a couple months before my diagnosis when I ran a marathon on a WHIM? Well here I am, about nine months into remission and am about to do it again! Don't get me wrong though, I signed up for this thing about 4 months ago, and trained for it for a few weeks but I was getting so down on myself for how slow I am now and how HARD it is for me to run now. But again, hello I've literally been poisoned for months and months. So I told myself that I will run when I can, and I won't when I can't. Well turns out that approach didn't really work because then I never ran. And now here we are, four days until the marathon and I am not trained at ALL for it. I am just going to go out there and give it hell, and hope that I don't pass out. Literally. It's suppose to be 90 degrees. NINETY FREAKING DEGREES. I vowed to never sign up for another one of these things so you can bet I'll be keeping that promise to myself. I HATE RUNNING!