Radioactive

Today I had my first radiation treatment! I realized that I haven't updated you guys about my radiation plans so here we are. I met with Dr. Gafney, my radiation oncologist that I LOVE, a couple weeks ago to review my PET scan results and to plan my radiation treatment process. He told me that I could not have responded better to the chemo treatments which was so awesome to hear! If my results would have been from a normal person, they wouldn't even be able to detect the amount of cancer that I still have, but since they already know of my cancer, they can see the tiniest amount that's left. So we all decided that radiation was definitely a good idea, we want this to be a one and done deal! So Dr. Gafney and his resident showed me my PET scan too so I could see exaclty where and how much cancer I had which was really cool I'm not going to lie. The red/orange spots on the scan are the cancerous cells, the left one is before chemo and the right is after chemo.

 

So after looking at the scans, Dr. Gafney said that he wants to do fifteen treatments of radiation. The difference between this and chemo is that radiation is everyday Monday through Friday. So they then told me they were fitting me for my mask today and giving me my tattoos. They took me back into this room, laid me on this tiny table and got to work. Keep in mind Dr. Gafney and his resident are both in the room along with one male and two female radiation tech's. So they all start poking and prodding at me, drawing all over my face and abdomen with permanent marker, making notes of where and how they're going to set me up for treatments. Once they get all of their markings in place they tell me they are going to start making the mold for my mask and to lie still. In order to make the mask they drape this large peice of soaking wet and HOT plastic that has holes in it over my face. I'm not going to lie it felt a little suffocating and probably the closest to water boarding that I'll ever experience. Luckily it cooled down and dried fairly quickly,  I just had to lay there for close to twenty minutes while the mask dried. It wasn't as fun as it sounds but I have to say every single person I have worked with in radiation has been so amazing! 

This is my mask all dry and ready to go. It's hard as a rock so I
can't really swallow or even open my eyes.

 

Those fish scales are from my mask,

it's that tight!

This is me on my first day of radiation, today.
I had the nurse take a picture so you could see how crazy it is.

 

This picture is unrelevant to this post but I just want to add
I'm so thankful for makeup! Without eyebrows and eyelashes
I really do look like a cancer patient. ;)

Drum Roll Please!!

I had a post chemo PET scan on monday to see how many lymph nodes are still hyper metabolic (cancerous) and had to wait until today to get my results. We had an appointment this morning at Huntsman to get my results and take some more tests. They had the hardest time getting blood return from my port... again, they always have a hard time but today was extra difficult. Man am I ready to get this thing taken out. Anyways, they finally got it to work after about 16 tubes of saline (they usually only need 2 or 3), and we went back to meet with my doctor.

Every time we have met with my oncologist, I have been less than impressed. He never informs his staff of his plans, let alone me! I don't mean to trash talk him either though because he saved my life, sort of, but man I just am not impressed with him. Anyways, we didn't even get to meet with Dr. Halwani today!! My nurse and my nurse practitioner gave me my results. Which I am not mad about at all, they are some of the most amazing people I've met. SO, Mary (my nurse), was pulling my results out of the printer and as she was walking back to Renee (my NP) to review my test results she says, "This is the worst printer I've ever seen!" Well all I heard was "This is the worst..", so I thought she was talking about my test results! I freaked out for a second but it was actually pretty funny. And then they gave me the results..

AND DRUMROLL PLEASE!!!! 

Of all my cancerous lymph nodes, there is one left and it has shrunk so much from that chemo that they believe it will go completely away on its own in the next few weeks!!! I can't say that I'm cancer free yet because I don't want to jinx that last little guy, but the prognosis was amazing! I still meet with my radiation oncologist on Wednesday so he can review my results and decide what we should do regarding radiation. My guess is that we will still go through with a little bit of radiation just to help that last little guy along and to be safe! I'd rather get rid of every last little bit right now and not have to worry as much later on in life. 

So that's that! The chemo worked and we are so close to being done with this mess! XOXOX!!!

My Last Chemo Treatment!!!!!

Tomorrow morning at 8 a.m. in the Infusion Center at The Huntsman Cancer Institute in Salt Lake City, Utah I, Alexis Marie Isbell, will be receiving my last chemotherapy treatment for stage 2b Hodgkin's Lymphoma!! Hopefully ever, but lets not jinx it, I'm still young and my chances of having cancer again in my lifetime are unfortunately a lot higher than most of you, purely because I've had it already. I have never been more excited to get poisoned!

After tomorrow the doctors will wait about 10 days for my last chemo treatment to run its course through my system, to start doing tests. Then they'll do another PET scan to see how much of the cancer is gone and how much of it, if any, remains. Once they get the results of that, I'll meet with my radiation oncologist again to find exactly how many sessions of radiation I'll need. Then I'll make another appointment to get fitted for my radiation mask and tattoos! Say what?! The mask is like a mesh thing that wraps around your face and is extremely tight. A friend of mine who went through the exact same thing as me, says that it's so tight that if I go into it with my eyes open I can close them, but if I go into it with my eyes closed, I can't open them! Crazy huh. The tattoos aren't as cool as they sound, they are just little freckle sized dots surrounding the area they will treat, so that they know they are treating the exact same area every single time. After I get fitted for my mask I'll have to wait another week or so to start treatment. Then I'll undergo about three weeks of radiation therapy, which unlike chemo, I have to go in every day for. It should only take up about 30 minutes of my day, and the actual radiation part only lasts about two minutes. The main side effects are fatigue (what's new?), sensitive skin in the treatment area (like a sunburn), and a sore throat. Overall, WAY better than chemo!!

It feels like that last four months of my life have dragged on, but I am so excited to finally see a light at the end of the tunnel!

Seven Down, One To Go!

It's crazy to me to see how people react in the face of death and disease. When I was diagnosed with cancer a little over three months ago, there were a few people in my life that I knew would be there for me throughout this journey. At least I thought so. They always say that hard times bring out the best and the worst in people but I've never experienced that more than I have right now. Some of my absolute closest friends turned out to be the most distant throughout my recovery and vice versa. The amount of people that have stepped up and really showed their support is overwhelming and I am so thankful for all of you. I try to focus on the good rather than the bad especially in situations like this where that seems to be all that I see most days. Cancer isn't pretty and there aren't many perks to it so when I find one I've got to take it for all that it's worth. 

Yesterday I started my last round of chemo!!! I have one more treatment left and then it's on to radiation. I met with a radiation oncologist earlier this week to learn a little bit more about the process and I'm not going to lie, he said a lot of scary things. In case you didn't know, my lymph nodes that have been infected by the cancer start in my neck, my collar bone area, and continue down around my heart and my left lung. When they start the radiation they want to make sure they treat all of the infected areas which means the radiation will target part of my thyroid, my lung, my heart, and some breast tissue. Because the radiation can be so damaging there are a lot of potential risks with this area the main ones being breast cancer, hypothyroidism, lung diseases, and pericarditis. My initial thought after hearing all of that was nooo way! I'll take my chances with my lymphoma reoccurring. Well turns out, if I don't do the radiation my chances of the lymphoma coming back are almost a sure bet and it's much harder to treat the second time around and I'd be looking at multiple bone marrow transplants. If I go on and do the radiation, because of my age and the fact that my cancer is only in stage two, the chances of all those other complications happening are very low. I've decided to do the radiation this time around and pray to the universe that no cancer or any other disease will come from it! It's safe to say that I am officially sick of being sick and am counting down the days until this nightmare is over and I can have my health and most importantly my hair back! Or is it the other way around..?

Just Another Bump in the Road!

Man I wish that my blog was about something more fun and light hearted like fashion or food! Something we all love, not something we all hate. Wouldn't that be the life?!

Tomorrow will be the end of my third round of chemo. After tomorrow I will only have two more treatments and then I'll be done, right? Wrong! Two weeks ago, when I went in for my fifth chemo treatment, I was scheduled to come in a few hours early to get some lab work done and to meet with the oncologist which we do about every other treatment. While we waited for over an hour to meet with my doctor my mom did a puzzle in the waiting room with me.

 SO much fun right? It sure beats the alternative! If I had the chance to go to HCI and just play puzzles without getting any poison fed into my veins, I would go there every single day. If only! Well we finally got back to meet with Dr. Halwani and after a few minutes of talking to him he informed us that about two weeks after I finish all of my chemo treatments and finish my testing I will have to start.... drum roll please.... Radiation!!!! Radiation sucks because I'll have to come in everyday Monday through Friday for about an hour to receive treatment. We aren't sure about the exact game plan yet, I'll meet with a Radiation Oncologist on April Fools (Ironic right?) to learn more about it but as of now we're thinking about 2-4 weeks.

Yet another bump along the road, but nothing I can't beast through! At this point, if things stay according to the plan, I am officially half way. Fortunately, I hear that radiation is a walk in the park compared to chemo, so hopefully this will be the easier half of the two. As of now I am still continuing to coach the cutest volleyball team ever, taking a practice or two off directly after chemo. It's the only normal part of my life left so I swore no matter how hard it got that I wouldn't give it up, but so far I haven't needed to. They really are an amazing group of girls and their families have all been so helpful and understanding.

A few of the girls after we took first at our last tournament! 

 I honestly don't know what I would do without all of the love and support from you guys. Especially my family, you guys mean everything to me!!

Strategically placed heart because
I just love you guys! ;)

Half Way...Hopefully!

Man I have never been more excited and frustrated at the same time! First off let's all just celebrate a little that I am officially half way through with Chemo! YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!!!! The frustrating part is that we don't know how my body/the cancer is reacting at all and we won't have any idea for at least another month. All I know is that the lumps on my next are nearly gone, (thank goodness) and I feel like crap almost all the time (not thank goodness). Everyone says you're gonna kick cancer's butt, but they don't ever tell you how it's gonna kick your butt! Nausea, headaches, being bald, fatigue, insomnia, the taste of poison in my mouth constantly, chemo brain (I feel so dumb!), hot flashes/cold sweats, constipation (sorry, gross..), etc. The list goes on!!

The being bald thing though I think is one of the worst, next to the sickness obviously. Man I didn't think I would miss my hair this much! Yeah I'm rocking the bald look but only because I have to don't get me wrong. I would take a full head of hair any day of the week. With that being said, I like to look at this as a do-over. Pun intended. Before I lost my hair I was blonde for a while, which damaged it like nobody's business, and then I made an impulse decision and dyed it near black (which I did not love). Now when my hair grows back, not only do I get to go through all kinds of crazy short hairstyles that I would never do otherwise, but I get to start over! Growing it all out and going blonde the healthy way, well a healthier way. It's unfortunate that this is what it had to come to for me to have short hair, but hey we'll take it. 

I know I go on and on about how amazing my family and friends are but it really gets more and more humbling every single day. My Aunt Mikell and her cousin Whitney have decided to do a fundraiser in my name. What are they selling? Pink hair extensions! How awesome is that? We are having a big party where they are going to be putting in the extensions and I couldn't be more excited! 

A friend of Whitney's was also so unbelievably gracious and has decided to sell her necklaces in my name as well! Her flyer is above and she also has an etsy shop at https://www.etsy.com/shop/CustomizedByKarli. You can order your necklace there with a coupon code "LOVEFORLEXI" until March 8th so head on over and check her shop out! 

I have also had the experience of getting my eyelashes done by yet another one of Whitney's friends. (I can't say enough amazing things about you Whit, you are seriously such a sweetheart!!!!) If you are looking for someone to do you eyelash extensions, Eyelashes by Miranda is where you want to go! Miranda did such a great job on mine and not to mention she is such a sweetheart and chose not to charge me because of what I am going through!

That's all I have for you guys, until next time.. XOXOX!

Cancer + 20's + Valentine's Day

So you wanna know what it's like to have cancer in your twenties? Well it is a little something like this. 

You know that massive hangover you've gotten before from spending a night out with your friends at the bar or at a party, drinking way too much and talking to tons of people you'll probably never meet again? Yeah that one that makes you think, "I am never drinking alcohol again a day in my life!!" Where you lay on the couch all day watching crappy TV, stuffing your face with crappy foods trying to feel remotely human again? That extremely horrible feeling after drinking that you get every so often that makes you slow down on your alcohol intake for the next few weeks? (Not like I would know that feeling from alcohol Grandma, I've just "heard"..) WELL my friends, that is how I feel nonstop the first 3-4 days after chemo and on and off every hour or so the next 3 days after that. Luckily for me, I only have chemo every other week so there is a week in between where I do feel relatively normal, with the hangover sensation only appearing once or twice a day. But still.. A full "normal" day would be so nice right about now.. 

Being physically/mentally/emotionally sick while everyone else around you is completely fine jut going on about their day- there are many words to describe how I feel but I think the most fitting one is probably restless. I feel exhausted but I can't sleep (without drugs that is, we finally got some medication to help with that one). I feel wanderlust but can't leave. I feel cold but can't ever seem to warm up without getting freaking hot flashes!! (How old am I??) 

But to me, I feel like staying positive is the only option I have. Ever since day one, it has never been an "if" I was going to beat cancer it has always been a "when". I never gave myself the option to be scared because there was no point, I wasn't going to let a little bit of lymphoma get in the way of me pursuing my dreams and living out the rest of my life. That is until I looked at the #hodgkinslymphoma hashtag on Instagram the other day and saw all of these people who have lost loved ones to this same disease. People just like me, fighting the exact same battle, who have died. It was extremely eye opening to me. And not in the way where I feel scared now, or worried that I won't beat this because deep inside I know that I will. I know that there is so much more to my life than what I have lived and so many more dreams I have left to chase. However, I almost feel lucky. Which I know sounds silly to hear a 20 year old girl with cancer say she feels lucky. But I do. Ever since I got the initial diagnosis I've been lucky. 
Lucky that the tests came back Lymphoma rather than Leukemia. 
Lucky that we caught it early. 
Lucky to have such an amazing facility such as the Hunstman Cancer Institute so close to home. 
Lucky to have the family and friends that I do.
Lucky to have the financial support of my dad so we don't have to worry about the bills.
Lucky to be ALIVE.

Sure I might be a little bitter that this is the hundredth Valentine's Day that I don't have a date, but I am lucky to be alive, and I don't know about all of you guys, but that's enough for me.